User blog:Stormjay Rider/Status of my life

Back in December, I became an assassin.

In February, I killed someone with my first leech sword, and Then I died, and my sentience was transplanted into the internet.

In April, I found I was capable of returning to the real world via a rift, and killed woodchucks.

In June, I got a taste of blood (for little to no reason), gained access to the world's supply of viruses, obtained Force blast power, and got a flamethrower and and amnesia pellets.

On July 14th, my sentience bonded with a well-known sycamore tree. (You know, Zaccheus climbed it?)

On July 21st, I poisoned all the redlinks on this wiki.

On July 29th, I gain access to the Death Machine.

On August 20th, I discovered that I have a metallic head. (True story, someone put a metal detector to my head, and it went off. Maybe it's the electricity in my brain. Then again, her sister's stomach set it off as well.) The following day, my Death Machine MK I gets destroyed. I get the MK II within a short time.

Most recently, on August 30th, Bowser back-stabs me, but the process doesn't kill me, it instead gives me genetic material belonging to wasps.

So, as you can see, I am now a very interesting character.